Getting into that Texas spirit!! Just itching to climb into those cowboy boots and hitch up these Texas-size britches for a spell.
I’ve put in an order at the airport’s rent-a-gun store for a Glock and holster. The wife says it makes her queasy, but Lord knows, gotta protect yourself and the little lady, even when she says she wants no protecting!!
Also, I got me a vaccination-reversal certificate for the Lone Star State where they don’t let anyone mess with your choices about what you put into your body. (Yeah, I know, it’s phony, but don’t let on, you hear!) I offered to get one for the wife too, but she calls it “less than honest.” What else would you expect from my delectable spouse!!
And I’ll have my ears flapping for any cab driver or hotel guest mixed up in helping floosies get abortions. Why? ‘Cause there’s money in it. Tons of money. I’ll rent a lawyer to file the lawsuit, or better still lawsuits, and rake in $10,000 per perpetrator! Would pay for five trips to Texas, and then some!! Them Texans sure know how to generate income!!
Looking forward to an awesome week in a place where freedom reigns and people don’t meddle in other people’s business. Yahoooooo!!!!!!
Note: I wrote this little satire while anticipating our trip to Texas this coming Thursday. Like most visitors to Texas, including those who oppose its reigning politics, I enjoy the warmth and humor of its people. Sadly, we just canceled the trip because of unresolved questions about the seriousness of omicron’s symptoms and the effectiveness of our vaccinations against it.
I’ve also revised the opening of the essay I wrote after our 2016 trip to Italy, which I hope is now clearer. Here’s the link: Layers – Adrian Spratt