Beaton: Hey there, podcast and transcription land, welcome to Gab Talk. This is Fayer Beaton, your host. With me in the studio today is Ed Head, Mayor of our beloved Nossexville. Your Honor, what would you say are your principal challenges?
Head: So, every challenge is a challenge, know what I mean?
Beaton: I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.
Head: So, I have to negotiate with the garbage collectors. I have to keep on top, sort of, of the police.
Beaton: ‘Sort of’ on top of the police?
Head: Like, make sure they don’t get super zealous.
Beaton: Are they arresting innocent people?
Head: I’m thinking, you know, violence.
Beaton: Have you uncovered police brutality? There’s been no reporting.
Head: Right, no reporting because I stopped it.
Beaton: Stopped the brutality or stopped the reporting?
Head: You know, stopped it.
Beaton: Okay. Well, so what are your other big challenges?
Head: So, there’s like the teachers.
Beaton: You like the teachers.
Head: [Laughs] Sure I like the teachers, but, you know, they make big demands on a small town budget. Sometimes I have to sort of come down hard on them.
Beaton: Meaning cutting one-third of our teachers. If you’ve only come down ‘sort of,’ I’d hate to see you really clamping down.
Head: I mean, I do what’s right for, um, the citizens of this town.
Beaton: And I guess you’re saying crushing teachers is right.
Head: Well, you know…
Beaton: I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking. When you were a kid, did you have a nightmare grammar teacher?
Head: I loved my grammar teacher, Mrs. Pikmiup. She was, like, so cool. Taught me everything I know.
Beaton: Not sort of everything you know?
Head: Well, yeah, sort of. I mean no one can teach you, like, everything, right?
Beaton: True, we can’t like everything.
Head: So, she was also our school’s debate coach. She taught us, you know, how to use the other side’s words against them.
Beaton: Like at the last town hall meeting when that poor lady said she was a sanitation engineer and you told her you could tell because everything she said was garbage.
Head: You know, it really was garbage. Remember how she went off about bullying? I mean, really!
Beaton: Everyone applauded. But let’s move on. So, help me here. We were talking about the police and teachers. I’m a bit lost.
Head: Only ‘a bit’ lost?
Beaton: Manner of speaking, you know.
Head: I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.
Beaton: Hey, I’m the one asking questions.
Head: Frankly, you ask the dumbest questions.
Beaton: that’s because you speak kind of like a dumb teenager.
Head: kind of like? Or really like?
Beaton: I mean, like.
Head: Kind of like you know I mean?
Beaton: This is how you turn the tables on citizens who dare to ask you questions. Your grammar is like contagious.
Head: Well, you know, my grammar teacher taught me well.
Beaton: So, folks, we come to the end of another episode of Gab Talk. My thanks to Steph Downe for her sort of awesome transcriptions. Watch your favorite podcast feed for the next show, when our special guest will be, um, Garbage Lady.
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