REPORTER: “Why should Americans trust the crown prince, given U.S. intelligence findings that he approved Khashoggi’s killing — and with 9/11 families openly furious about his visit?”
TRUMP: “As far as this gentleman is concerned, he’s done a phenomenal job. You’re mentioning somebody that was extremely controversial. A lot of people didn’t like that gentleman that you’re talking about. Whether you like him or didn’t like him, things happen….”
— From the CNN transcript of the November 18 meeting between Donald Trump and Mohammed bin Salman
1. The jury returned a verdict of guilty of murder in the second degree. Having risen to his feet to receive the verdict, the convicted man addressed the judge: “Things happen. Can I go home now?”
2. As the couple stood radiant before him, the priest glanced along the pews and asked that obligatory question, “If anyone has reason why this man and woman should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.” In the congregation, a woman stood, holding up a certificate, and cried out, “He’s already married.” Looking at the mortified man and shocked woman facing him, the priest sighed. “Things happen.”
3. In June 1980, a New York City developer about to demolish the Bonwit Teller flagship department store promised to preserve the building’s two 15-foot limestone Art Deco bas-relief sculptures and deliver them to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Then one night, he destroyed both the building and the sculptures. Asked about his broken promise and looking starry-eyed at the prospect of the Trump Tower he was to build on the demolition site, he said, “Things happen.”
4. A security guard caught a twelve-year-old boy shoplifting at his local Target store. When asked why he continued to steal from the store after two warnings, the boy shrugged and said, “Things happen.”
5. The operating room gasped when the surgeon’s knife missed its target and drove through the patient’s heart. The surgeon tossed down the knife, ripped off his mask and, stepping to the exit, remarked, “Things happen.”
6. Early one morning just as the sun was rising/I heard maidens singing in the valley below/‘Oh don’t deceive me/Oh never leave me/How could you treat a poor maiden so?’
And I thought, “Well, things happen.”
7. In California, the Marines fired high explosive shells intended to land miles beyond a well-traveled highway. One exploded in midair, showering shrapnel on to California Highway Patrol vehicles escorting the Vice President. When asked why Marines had carried out this risky exercise in the first place, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth’s spokesperson commented: “Things happen.”
8. Three teenage boys bravely stepped forward to accuse their physical education teacher of abusing them in the showers. As the police arrived to arrest him outside the school, the teacher pointed to a dog sniffing another and said, “Things happen.”
9. As the plane tipped forward and fell into a steep dive and as passengers all around screamed, sensing their end was near, the pilot came on the intercom and observed, “Sorry, folks, but things happen.”
10. Divorce behind you, no prospects of love ahead. Then one evening “the one that got away” accidentally dials your number. She’s ecstatic when she hears the joy in your voice. Sometimes things really do happen to happen.
11. When a certain owner’s casinos and hotel operations filed bankruptcy for the sixth time, once again leaving contractors and suppliers in the lurch, our reporter caught up with the owner, Donald J. Trump, and asked how he felt about letting down so many workers. Before climbing into his chauffeured limo and slamming the door, Trump turned and said, “Things happen.”
12. When the extent of Lawrence Summers’ relationship with Jeffrey Epstein became public after the House’s release of thousands of pages of Epstein documents, at least he didn’t say, “Things happen.”
Excellent column–and I hope the story about the phone call is real!
Powerful