So many human qualities can be inversions of what they seem. Hatred of someone else can be hatred of oneself. To punish another can be to engage in self-punishment. The subject of inversion came up the other evening during the rebroadcast of Dick
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Me Me Me
In my posts to this website, as well as in my fiction, I’m conscious of writing from the point of view of an individual. The argument goes that when we depict personal experience, we speak for many others, even the whole of human experience. But do
Looking Back on a Mediation Program from the COVID Era
For the past twenty-two months, my old office, the New York State Attorney General’s complaint mediation program, has been empty but for two people: a file clerk and a staff member who processes the day’s mail. COVID-19 is the explanation, of course.
The English Garden Rose
The many-petaled spiral of the English garden rose against the green of a mown lawn and the blue of a nearly cloudless sky brings feelings of wellbeing to our hearts and minds. It sparks a spring day with red, yellow or orange. It is lovely and
Disability and Censorship
“Ableism” has been defined as “discrimination in favor of able-bodied people.” Advocates for people with disabilities believe that central to the fight to end ableism is the censorship of words that could cause offense and perpetuate harmful
Courage Cells: A Story
Who would I be if I forgot the teacher who coaxed me past my math phobia, or the time my boss bailed me out and then reamed me out after I got a client into a disastrous investment, or the glowing loveliness of my wife Jane on our wedding day? Memory
Gonna Go to Texas
Hey y’all, We’re heading to Texas, and I’m getting into that Texas spirit!! Just itching to climb into these cowboy boots and hitch up these Texas-size britches for a spell. I’ve put in an order at the airport’s rent-a-gun store for a Glock and
The Garage Door: A Story
That afternoon, we had our cab driver let us out at the driveway to our apartment building’s underground garage. “Why is the garage door opening?” Alison said, as she got out. Her voice was muffled by her mask, a murkiness I’d never grown used to
Righting the Wrong Word
A few months ago, drafting my response to a questionnaire in advance of an upcoming interview in connection with Caroline, I wrote the phrase “fiction’s ghetto.” Here’s the question and my original answer: Q: Do you have a target reader? A:
Bacon Jam
Could any food name excite more disgust? Yet bacon jam is what my friend and neighbor turned up with at my door three weeks ago. He said it was “amazing,” but he’s always saying something or someone is amazing. If they’re not amazing, they’re
Project Bloom
Project Bloom is a new anthology of essays and poems written by people who experienced the pandemic. Lisa M. Alexander and Joshua Potter-Efron, the editors, have drawn on works by a variety of people whose names are hardly household, mine included.
Can’t You Hear my Heart Beat? Texas’s New Anti-Abortion, Pro-Vigilante Law
1 With the romantically labeled “Texas Heartbeat Act,” Texas’s Republican-controlled government has deputized individual citizens to sue anyone who might be involved in abortion. The target could be a doctor, a cab driver unknowingly transporting a
Longing
I’ve wondered why the Beatles’ “Michelle” lingers in the mind. For one thing, the lyrics aren’t believable. The only French words the singer, Paul McCartney, claims to know are “ma belle” and “Sont les mots qui vont très bien ensemble,” which he goes
A Hand, or Two, for Simone Biles
Without looking or touching, our right and left hands each knows where the other is. I hadn’t given that magical awareness any thought until I lost it after last month’s surgery to remove a bone spur from my shoulder. All of a sudden, my right hand
Do I Even Exist?
Do I Even Exist? I do not have numbers for physically disabled students, and I'm not sure if the College makes that information public. Amherst believes that the number of students with physical disabilities is small enough that providing a
Snowflakes at Amherst
Amherst College is withholding important information about its disabled students by claiming a statistic has a right to privacy. 1 I recently wrote to Amherst College, my alma mater, to inquire how many blind and otherwise physically disabled
Tribalism in Amber
1 I like to believe I have fought through most, even all, of the prejudices I’ve held in the past. However, prejudice can be like a virus that keeps adapting and renewing itself. 2 Ignorant of Ireland’s history, I arrived in America from England
The Pain Game
How do you rate your pain on a scale of one to ten? The question is such a commonplace that when I complain about it to friends, they shrug and say, “They all ask that.” Why did this seemingly innocuous question annoy me? One hurdle I had to
Fairness During a Pandemic
1 I’m about to have life-saving surgery, but the hospital’s administration refused to ensure I get both COVID-19 doses ahead of time. I meet New York State’s vaccination eligibility requirements. They do say the wing where I’ll be staying is
Disconnects
Why do I suddenly think of that chilly Boston evening forty or so years ago? A friend of mine named Tim and I were visiting a married couple, friends of his. She played hostess while her husband stayed glued to his recording of Mozart’s Marriage of
Young at Heart
“The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.” That’s the Lord Henry Wotton character speaking in Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Grey. I think of my father who, as he approached ninety, insisted he felt no different
The Third Reason
A white woman friend was recently on the subway when a black man sat next to her with his mask lowered just below his nose. A senior citizen who takes every precaution to avoid infection from COVID-19, she stood and walked to an empty seat at the
Magic Moment
One serene early spring evening, I was walking with my white cane on a path through the Amherst College campus when I encountered the author, Robert Stone. I was taking a course of his, albeit not for credit and I’d never spoken a word in class. It
The Maligned City
Lately, members of my Zoom writing group, most of whom live in the western United States, have been dumping on New York City. One has created a character who deems New Yorkers rude and always insisting on having the last word. Another cited the Kitty
Planet Pluto, Society and Civilization
1 Poor Pluto: reclassified from planet to mere ice body. Does Pluto care? It’s still a heavenly body, and it seems to have been content these past several billion years to keep pushing along the rim of the solar system. Actually, it’s people who